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Welcome To Holland

  A Parent's Story
 At a reception following the 1999 hockey game at John Abbott College, Bob McEwen wanted to acknowledge the parents of the children involved in our fundraising activities.

Maureen Hunt, a family friend of the McEwens, spoke to the audience of her own experience of hearing about the challenges her son was facing at a very young age. She shared her confusion and fear. After the initial shock, she found her way and her strength, and set about doing what needed to be done to get whatever assistance her son needed. She spoke of a "different path" that she had to accept.

The following piece, "Welcome to Holland", was eloquent in expressing these feelings and was read to the room of supporters. She dedicated it to the parents of Brent, Jordan and Meagan. These parents were thanked for sharing their "tulips and windmills" with all of us.
I am often asked to describe the experience of raising a child with a disability - to try to help people who have not shared that unique experience to understand it, to imagine how it would feel. It's like this.........

When you're going to have a baby, it's like planning a fabulous vacation trip - to Italy. You buy a bunch of guide books and make your wonderful plans. The Coliseum, the Michelangelo David, the gondolas in Venice. You may learn some handy phrases in Italian. It's all very exciting!

After months of eager anticipation, the day finally arrives. You pack your bags and off you go. Several hours later, the plane lands. The stewardess comes in and says, "Welcome to Holland."   Holland?" you say. "What do you mean Holland? I signed up for Italy. All my life I dreamed of going to Italy."

But there's been a change in the flight plan. They've landed in Holland and there you must stay. The important thing is that they haven't taken you to a horrible, disgusting, filthy place, full of pestilence, famine and disease. It's just a different place.

So you go out and buy new guidebooks. And you must learn a whole new language. And you will meet a whole new group of people you would never have met. It's just a different place. It's slower paced than Italy, less flashy than Italy. But after you've been around, you begin to notice that Holland has windmills, Holland has tulips, Holland even has Rembrandts.

But everyone you know is busy coming and going from Italy, and they're bragging about the wonderful time they had there. And for the rest of your life you will say, "Yes, that's where I was supposed to go. That's what I had planned."

The pain of that will never go away, because the loss of that dream is a very significant loss. But if you spend your life mourning that you didn't get to Italy, you may never be free to enjoy the very special, very lovely things about Holland.

Emily Pearl Kingsley